If the achievements-based culture is what we might need to question, and if just allowing kids to always do what they want is not exactly the solution, then how else might we think about how and why young people pursue enrichment and develop competencies? Perhaps a key is to focus on excellence rather than achievement. To help draw out what I am thinking of here, let me share some recent experiences from our oldest children’s school, which we intentionally chose for them because this school is designed with the intention of liberating young people from the goal-gobbling college preparatory race for the sake of guiding them toward a love of wisdom, personal enrichment and holistic learning.
Culture of the Home, Part 3: Customs (Letters to Parents Series IV)
It is customary to assume that children rebel against their parents. What is often discounted, though, is just how strong the influence of parents is. If children do rebel, it is rebellion against the standard the parents have established. Rebellion itself shows the outsized influence of parents.
It turns out, however, that the myth of rebellion is overblown.
The Hardest Thing about Parenting (Letters to Parents I)
The hardest thing about parenting is that who you are matters most.
That’s the hardest part. It is an unavoidable and, ultimately, undeniable fact. Nothing reveals your character like being called to help bring another human being into life and guide that person into maturity. Who you are is front and center in that mission.
Breaking News: Teens and Their Parents Have Meaningful Conversations
“I really feel that I am always moving from one event to another constantly. I fail to be in the moment and appreciate where I am. I am caught up in the moment and I don’t make true connections with people. When I am rushing I start to interpret people’s actions and how they should show their love. You said ‘deep listening does not just happen’ and to make time for deep listening I need to become practiced in taking time and practice giving time. I may be a busy person but the reason why I am not making deep connections with other people is because I am not giving them my time.”
– Allison, HS Junior